THE SECRET TO YOUR PERSONALITY - 1

INTRODUCTION

I got a couple of private mails asking various questions on personalities and temperaments, so I am dedicating this week to writing about the various personalities/temperaments. The main purpose of these series is for us to know how to unlock the secret of our personality, learn how to be a better person and have a better understanding on why people act the way they do.

One of the most reliable means of learning to know oneself is the study of the temperaments. For if a man is fully aware of his temperament, he can learn easily to direct and control himself. If he is able to discern the temperament of others, he can better understand and help them.

Temperament refers to those innate aspects of an individual's personality.  Temperaments are not learned, all of us are born with his or her distinct personality traits. I believe God created each of us with our natural temperaments so that we can complement each other. All of us are born with distinct personality traits. Some people are naturally pushy and bossy, while others are just satisfied to get along and be at peace with all. Some people live for crowds and parties; while others look for privacy and time for sober reflection. We don't pick and choose these traits; they're just part of the way we're made.

Personality type is not new. It’s been around for more than fifty years. In the second century A.D. the physician Galen described four temperaments based upon the four humors or bodily fluids - melancholic, phlegmatic, sanguine and choleric. These became known as the four classical temperaments. However, an individual can have a mix of two temperaments, but one would predominate over the other. Over the centuries, various philosophers have used these four to understand human nature.    

 

Each of these temperaments has their strengths and weaknesses. The key is to live out your strengths and not your weaknesses.

WHO MOVED MY CHEESE

WHO MOVED MY CHEESE?

My company re-opened for business on Thursday, the 4^th of January 2013. Everyone looked refreshed and I was happy to see my colleagues. We had a short devotion at the lunch room, committing the new financial year to God.We settled at our various desks and logged into the company’s intranet to read the welcome back message from our MD. But instead of the usual title of “NEW YEAR GOODWILL MESSAGE”, we saw “CHANGES”.

I scanned through the post, and let out a sigh of relieve. There were shouts of Joy and distress screams coming out from different offices. 13 staff had been terminated, 22 staff had been promoted, and there had also been a reshuffling in management.

I sympathized with the people that had their appointment terminated. All but one felt their termination was unfair and unjustified. Ms. James (not real name) did not seem surprised, sad nor angered that her appointment was terminated. She said she had envisaged this day and had prepared ahead of time.

In the book, Who Moved My Cheese? A motivational book by Spencer Johnson, he noted that the humans (Hem and Haw) had counted on the cheese supply to be constant. One day; they got to the cheese station and realized there were no more cheeses. They were so unprepared for this situation and got angered at the unfairness of the situation and went home starved. 

One week after the changes in my company, the affected ex-staff are still enraged at the termination of their appointment; they come to work daily demanding to be reinstated in the former position. Ms. James, on the other hand comes to the office daily to sell her lovely sandwiches and recharge cards. Call it sympathy buying, but virtually all 64 staff patronizes her. 

In this year 2013, if you wake up one day to realize your cheese has been moved, would you like Hem demand, "Who moved my cheese"? Learn from people’s experience or maybe your past experience, inspect your cheese station daily and explore different parts of the maze regularly so to prevent any form complacency from setting in.

HOUSEKEEPING BUDGET

HOME BUDGET?

I receive a monthly house keeping allowance and I have a house keeping budget that equates it. Each month I promise myself that I would stick to the budget. But hard as I try, I just cannot stick to it. Once I get into the supermarket / open market, I shove my grocery list into my back pocket and pile up my trolley. 

It’s easy for me to stick to my personal monthly budget, but when it comes to the house keeping budget, it seems almost impossible. Two weeks into every new month, the allowance is all expended. I end up having to ask my hubby for additional house keeping allowance.

In the past, my tears and promises to use the funds wisely worked on him, and I’m able to extort more money. Yay! But not so anymore. He has really tried to teach me on how to practice my profession at home. (I am an accountant, budgeting and sticking to it is what I do best at work).  I end up including my monthly fuel allocation, hair upkeep allocation and my lunch allowance as part of the house keeping expense for the month.

Are you wondering how I survive the months? I dump my car and hitch a ride with my colleague, I wear wigs to cover my undone hair, and I have cereals for lunch!

So I did a bit of reminiscing and came up with the following tips;

1. I would always take stock of cupboards, fridge, and freezer before I head out shopping.  With this, I know what I have left and ensure that the older products get used up first before they expire. This would also help ensure I do not buy what I do not need.

2. I would always make a shopping list and include the budgeted price of each items and resolve to stick to it.

3. Leave my debit card at home and withdraw the cash I want to spend. The amount I have should equate the amount on the shopping list. No extra cash, no impulse buying.

4. Ditch the big brand names and go for store brand. They taste as good. For some items however, I would swap one of everything to a lower brand.

5. Don’t waste any food. I either only make what I need or freeze any leftovers.

6. Stay off Bogof for fresh food items! (BOGOF stands for ‘buy one, get one free’). They always end up in the bin because I didn’t need that much in the first place.

7. I would never shop when hungry. Hunger sparks off my impulse buying.

I pledge to stick to this and determined to achieve the desired result. I also hope my readers find these tips useful.

NO BLUE DAYS

NO BLUE DAYS!

Being happy is a choice and so I have decided never to have a blue day this year. Yes, I would be happy, cheerful and bubbly every day of the year 2013.

I have a melancholy personality; I am creative, respectful, analytical, and thoughtful. Melancholies are ‘thinkers’. We are very careful with our actions because we’re sensitive to our needs. These are our strengths. But you see, the coins have two sides and so if we have strengths, we also have weaknesses. We tend to depression; we are frequently moody or gloomy; very sensitive; easily hurt and weighed down when things are not working as we planned. Melancholy personalities have the tendency to be suspicious, critical, and pessimistic.

In the past I have battled with the weaknesses of being melancholy, I hated my personality and isolated myself. But over the years, I have learnt to overcome these weaknesses. God did not make any mistake when He made us. I have learnt that it is ok to be a Melancholy so far you are living out of your strengths and not the weaknesses.

A lot of people are in denial and do not believe in temperaments. But I believe God created each of us with our natural temperaments so that we can complement each other. He expects us to grow under the influence of his spirit.

If you have a melancholy personality like I do, we need to make a conscious effort to walk daily in Joy, Patience and goodness and do not take everything to heart. Focus more on the strengths of our personality.

Your life is designed by you, so take responsibility for it. We may not have control over the actions and behaviors of others but we do have full control over our choices.

Make it a great day everyday, the choice is yours!

THEORY X OR THEORY Y

As the Chief Finance Officer of my organization, I manage all the 11 staff under the Finance and Accounts department. My first degree was in Business Administration, and I learnt the theoretical knowledge of management, but now I am faced with practical people management. This isn’t the first time I am managing people, but this so far, has been my most difficult and challenging.

The first week I spent in my organization, I discovered that 98% of the staff in my department were disgruntled with the way the department and company in general had been run in the past. I faced a lot of opposition and acts of insubordination and I became frustrated. I needed to produce results and prove to the organization that they hired a good hand. Other management staff saw my challenges and counseled that in Nigeria the only way to get people to work was to push them hard. However, the harder I pushed them to work, the more resistant and less productive they were.  Reports were coming in late, and even when they get to my desk, they were filled with errors and I will end up having to redo them myself.

After 3 months of dancing to the management style that my organization had adopted, I decided to re-strategize. I made a mental comparison of the past managers I had worked under, I reminisced on those that got the best out of me and how they did it.   I realized that my organization practiced the Theory X management style which I had subconsciously imbibed. I decided to consciously apply the Theory Y management approach and like magic, there was a positive dramatic change within the department.

Theory X represents a negative view of human nature that assumes individuals generally dislike work, are irresponsible, and require close supervision to do their jobs, while theory Y denotes a positive view of human nature and assumes individuals are generally industrious, creative, and able to assume responsibility and exercise self-control in their jobs.

Theory X is an authoritarian style and reflects an underlying belief that management must counteract an inherent human tendency to avoid work Theory X managers rely heavily on threat and coercion to gain their employees' compliance. Theory y however challenges us to innovate, to discover new ways of organizing and directing human effort. A Theory Y manager believes that, given the right conditions, most people will want to do well at work and the satisfaction of doing a good job is a strong motivation.

A lot of my friend’s in various organizations owned and run by Nigerians are un-happy with their job. Everyone wants to work for a multi national company. I have discovered that there's nothing fundamentally wrong with our Nigerian owned company’s except that the leaders of all our major organizations operate under the wrong assumptions."

In his comic classic “Up the Organization”, Robert Townsend wrote powerfully in support of Theory Y:

“People don't hate work. It's as natural as rest or play. They don't have to be forced or threatened. If they commit themselves to mutual objectives, they'll drive themselves more effectively than you can drive them. But they'll commit themselves only to the extent they can see ways of satisfying their ego and development needs.”

Are you a manager? What management style do you operate under? How did you overcome your challenges? Let’s discuss.

NEWYEAR RESOLUTION

NEWYEAR RESOLUTION?

A New Year's resolution is a commitment/declaration that a person makes to one or more personal goals, projects, or the change of a habit. A key element to a New Year's resolution that sets it apart from other resolutions is that it is made in anticipation of the New Year and new beginnings.

The tradition of the New Year's Resolutions dates as far back to 153 B.C. The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, a mythical king of early Rome. He was god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus. (January was named after this Roman King).

There are many other religious practices similar to this tradition;

The ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.

In the Medieval era, the knights took the "peacock vow" at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.

At watch night services, many Christians prepare for the year ahead by praying and making these resolutions.

Writing New Year’s Resolution is just a tradition, and like many traditions it has come to stay. But how effective is a New Year’s resolution?   A 2007 study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail.

I do not put much faith in New Year's resolutions. While it is good to think that you have intentions of improving yourself, why only make this goal on New Year's Day? Why not set a goal any time of the year? For example, a diet can be started any time and maybe January is not the best time to do it. If you need to improve anything about yourself, just begin any time. There is no better time to start to change you than today!!!

For me, I make a list of goals - long term, intermediate and short term goals. I review them every month and try to think of action items to help me succeed. Sometimes I stay on track sometimes not and I try never to have more than a handful at a time.

Here are key ways in which you can achieve more in a given year;

1.) Evaluate your days more often: Do not wait for big occasions like the New Year to set your goals. "There's no difference between New Year's and any other time,"  "If you want to do something new, that should happen as soon it is possible." If you realize you're overweight and want to shed the excess weight, why wait until January to do so?

2.) Reminisce on the positive: Think more of the things that you were able to achieve in the past. This should encourage you and propel you to achieve more. If you could achieve in the past, you would have more confidence to achieve in the future, Focusing more on what you could not achieve may discourage you, while positive feedback and rewards increase your chance of success.

3.) Always clean up the past and take the future one step at a time: Set short term goals, achieve one goal before moving to the next. Be specific not vague, e.g:

• Resolution: Quit smoking instead set short goal: Stop smoking that 1 cigarette you have after breakfast.
• Resolution: Eat healthy food instead set short goal: Start substituting that Coca-Cola with table water.
• Resolution: Lose Weight instead set short goal: Every evening after work, go for a 10 minute run or walk around the block.
• Resolution: Get closer to God instead set short goal: Meditate and pray for 5 minutes every morning after you wake up.

With all this info, the only thing that’s left for me to ask: Do you believe in setting New Year’s resolutions? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments. 

I FINALLY MADE IT

BEEHIVEZONE

Am so excited, 2013 is here and I have finally started my blog.

My brain is as busy as the bee hive.

I love to write and I love to communicate through emails, texts messages and chats.

I love to talk and counsel.  

I love to think and analyze deeply and differently.

I love to soliloquize.

I finally now have a means by which I can express all the thoughts that keep running through my mind and brain everyday.